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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25897975">Long Distance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSpectre/pseuds/SunflowerSpectre'>SunflowerSpectre</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Desire | Neronvain [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dungeons &amp; Dragons - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, mature to mildly explicit, soft core plot-related smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:00:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25897975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSpectre/pseuds/SunflowerSpectre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Desire and Neronvain, now in a more official relationship, now struggle with a new obstacle - long distance.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neronvain/Original Female Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Desire | Neronvain [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879351</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This pairing makes me soft.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The way that his brother paces through the castle with his nose in his papers does not go unnoticed by Alagarthas. He watches Neronvain coyly before he starts to match his brother’s pace and stroll alongside him. The small, brief and annoyed glance is all that Neronvain gives in acknowledgement of his presence. He doesn’t say a word as Alagarthas grins wildly at him, strutting beside him like a dog begging for attention and praise.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>miss </span>
  </em>
  <span>her, don’t you,” Alagarthas taunts lightly, his grin growing wider, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>missssss </span>
  </em>
  <span>her~”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alagarthas’ taunts hit a nerve and Neronvain admits (to a degree and never out loud) that it </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> been a while since he has seen Desire. Even the mention of her is enough for his pace to falter momentarily. It has been months of just being by himself, sans his annoying brother. Months after they spilled their confessions and he tasted the salt of her sweat from her lip. Months of their only correspondence with each other being through letters. He still writes her daily though - he notes with a growing, dull ache in his chest - her own responses have been sparse, dwindling down as time goes by. He tells himself that she’s busy. That her workload is just as heavy - if not even more so due to the physical training she has to go through. That the Order of the Gauntlet is just keeping her free time as she works up the ranks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can assure you that I do not miss Desire.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alagarthas, to Neronvain’s dread, wraps an arm around his shoulders and brings him tightly as they walk, the shit eating grin on his face never wavering. He looks at Neronvain coyly, “I love that I didn’t even have to say her name for you to know who I was talking about.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Neronvain shrugs out of Alagarthas’ grasp, rolling his shoulders until he is able to wiggle himself free as gracefully as he can manage. He gives his brother a pointed look before adjusting his coat and rearranging the papers in his hands, hoping that they’re not too frumpled to be of use. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have told you to please stop doing that,” Neronvain states simply, but firmly, his voice strained. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alagatheras grins wildly, “And I have told you that I will simply do it anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Desire’s mind has constantly been drifting. Every swing of her weapon begins to get lighter and less focused. As the day continues, her concentration goes with it. The sweat drips off her brow and the armor she’s forced to wear is heavier, bulkier than the ones that she is used to. Even the weapons are similar, but just a bit heavier, a bit longer, always a bit off. The clash of metal on metal, the taste of dirt as you hit the ground, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>grueling. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But each time she hits the ground, even as her entire body screams at her to stay down and her muscles ache, she gets back up and she keeps at it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. She wants this and </span>
  <em>
    <span>more.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And the idea of becoming a leader - a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real leader - </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the Order of the Gauntlet is all the motivation that she needs to keep going. It’s everything she has worked for. Even Neronvain knows how much it means to her and if not for her ambition to become a leader for the organization, she never would have been at that damn ball in the first place. In a lot of ways, it is her goals for her life that led to the right time and place for them to have their first kiss. She scoffs to imagine what would have happened if she had decided to become a baker instead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But there are some days - days like this where green eyes and soft familiar skin occupy her daydreams and she just can’t seem to stop thinking about Neronvain. His voice, the way that he even says her name, echoes in her ears as she just sighs lovingly because she never wants to stop hearing it. But when her mind becomes too preoccupied to block an attack, she is harshly reminded of the fact that Neronvain isn’t anywhere close to her when she tastes the muddy earth of her fall. Each time she gets up, she can always feel Onthar’s eyes watching her closely. Her adoptive father simply shakes his head. The guilt and frustration bubbles in her chest, weighing on her almost as heavy as her thoughts of Neronvain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re distracted,” he tells her simply.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone else would have called his look cold and calculated, but she can see the softness in his edges that tell her that as disappointed as he is, he still cares about her. She can see the hints of a smile in the corner of his mouth. Just being around his fatherly presence again makes her breath a little easier.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep your feet on the ground, kid.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Said feet are like lead by the time that she drags herself into her room, her bed calling out to her. She feels so tired, her body aching as her eyelids struggle to stay open and she is slow to take off her armor as she wonders just how hard it would really be to sleep in it. She rolls her shoulders and stretches before she rubs healing ointment onto her muscles with the hopes that it will aid her chances of getting a better sleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As she sits on the edge of her bed, fingers rubbing circles into the sore spots of her arm, she eyes the piles of letters on her desk. With as high as the stack is, there are stray letters that have begun to compile beneath the desk as well. Each unopened. Unread. She used to read them, she admits, when she was fresh to training and had the time. She would fawn over every delicately worded compliment he wrote and would always take the time to write something back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s not sure when exactly she just stopped opening them. Sometime between when the training got tougher and started to take all night and when she started to feel like one day his letters would stop coming anyway because there was no way that he would still be this in love with her after so many nights apart. The stack just grew and grew before she found herself unable to even respond to the others. Now, it haunts her from the corner of the room. The idea of responding makes her skin itch since she’s put it off for so long; it’s too overwhelming and she’s scared what will happen when she finally does.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She glances toward the armor plate gleaming in the low light. She sighs heavily and checks that she still has her knife under her pillow - logically, she knows that she is in the safest possible place in all of Elturel. She can’t quite explain that even while she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>she’s safe, she still feels safer having that weapon there. A security measure. A habit from all of her travels. She plops down into the bed, clenching her eyes tight as the glints of metal on metal clashing still flash in her mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neronvain’s tired; he always is, but today his eyelids feel even heavier as sleep these past nights has evaded him. It’s not that he doesn’t try to sleep; he has used every herb and tea recommended to him, but to no avail. Nothing stops the nightmares; there’s too much variety in his life that went bad or could have gone bad that every night it is always something different. They started out just being memories, but lately, they’ve changed. Now sometimes it’s a memory - but it’s morphed its ending. One where he never got away. One being burned alive by poison or torn to shreds by a dragon’s teeth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could live with all of that. Forced himself to sleep if those were the only things haunting him. Now, there’s no variety in his nightmares. It always involves </span>
  <em>
    <span>her. Desire.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Real enough he didn’t notice he was dreaming. Magic spewing from his hands and hitting her through her chest - burning away her armor as she looks at him in horror. Sometimes it is in battle, before she inspired him to be a better person. Sometimes, he sees them on that stranded island, but instead of being groggy and thankful for her help, he kills her before eventually succumbing to his own death in the island heat. Last night, he swore that she was beside him in bed, arm curled around him tightly, but he had a nightmare. When he wakes up in his dream from the nightmare, Desire is screaming and his hand is straight through her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t sleep anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Alagarthas comments on it, he brushes it off. Evades his brother as much as he can. Until a letter is being shoved into his chest and Alagarthas is just smiling in that frustratingly knowing way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is this?” The letter was thrusted with enough force to knock the wind out of him. He takes it from Alagarthas and glances it over briefly, but it raises more questions than it answers. He licks at his bottom lip, a flame of hope daring to spark in his chest. “- Alagarthas?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you could use a break and now that I  am in charge nowadays, no one can say no when I tell them that my advisor is taking a temporary leave of absence. A month is the best I can offer. I don’t I, nor the kingdom, can survive for longer than that without you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alagarthas’s smile is blinding, but not as bright as the hope in Neronvain’s eyes. The idea of being able to leave to go visit Desire is so foreign - a passing thought that he has swallowed down for months now because he knew that it would be impossible - but here his brother is, offering him the impossible. Alagarthas blinks owlishly, his eyes wide at the brief contact that Neronvain gives him, but his brother is gone before Alagarthas can process it, but if he didn’t know any better, he’d say that Neronvain just gave him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hug.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Desire almost doesn’t believe her eyes when she sees him in town. She brushes it off as a trick of the eye, believing that she misses him so much that her mind simply conjures his image in an attempt to please her. She can’t grasp the idea that he would actually be there because </span>
  <em>
    <span>why would he be?</span>
  </em>
  <span> By now, she is semi-convinced that he is tired of her or finally decided to go with someone else. Someone more suitable for an ex-prince turned advisor. Someone more elfy with less calluses and scars. A lady that would rather discuss ideals and poetry than what type of metal better cuts through shields. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Desire.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t turn around, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Desire tells herself as much as it pains her. She can’t indulge in any illusions - if people found out that she was seeing things to this degree than she’d be kicked out. Even her father would believe she was crazy. She still stops though, unable to run away from it. Familiar arms squeeze around her waist from behind and it feels so real that tears bristle in the corners of her eyes. She wants it to be real - but she knows Neronvain of all elves would never display affection so openly and never so </span>
  <em>
    <span>publicly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. People glance toward her, though most leave her be. She’s in a less exposed area of the city, toward the dark alleyway short cuts that she uses to get to the Order.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She really shouldn’t be indulging in this hallucination - this </span>
  <em>
    <span>so real</span>
  </em>
  <span> hallucination that she is desperately clinging to. She needs to get to training. But she still can’t move. The longer that he holds her, feels his chin resting on her shoulder, the more she secretly knows the truth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t come when I called for you,” Neronvain’s voice whispers against the exposed skin near her ear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her hands find his at her waist. She left her armor back at her room; she didn’t have the strength to put it on today, but now more than ever is she glad that she didn’t put it on. She doubts that his arms would have fit around her if she had and in casual wear, she can feel the warmth radiating from his skin. The strength behind his grasp around her. Her thumb brushes over the top of his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I didn’t think you were real.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Onthar is suspicious when Desire requests time off. He knows her - she’s his daughter for fuck’s sake. He knows that he taught her the importance of working hard, of dedication and strong will. She has been here for months and hasn’t requested so much as a single day off, he thought he had done a great job teaching her. Now she is asking for a whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>month</span>
  </em>
  <span> off - from seemingly out of nowhere. She didn’t even bother coming in with her weapon nor armor. She comes in with </span>
  <em>
    <span>casual wear</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all things.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But she looks - happy. More content that he has seen her these past few months. Brighter. Practically glowing as she beams up at him with hope and he lets out a long, strained breath those his nostrils as they flare. He has a sneaking suspicion why she’s asking for time off now and he should be grateful that she’s not asking for </span>
  <em>
    <span>nine months </span>
  </em>
  <span>off. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it because of this person you’re seeing,” Onthar’s voice booms deeply and Desire immediately backs up, flustered as a blush spreads across her cheeks before she remembers what he told her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Feet on the ground. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She plants her heels into the dirt and looks him in the eye evenly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if it is?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Onthar snorts at her boldness and her indirect answer that lets him know everything he needs to know. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Whomever she’s seeing is here. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He can see it in her eyes. As hot tempered as he is, he likes to think that when it comes to her dating life, he has been rather patient. Backed off to a degree, letting her have her privacy and her life. He wishes that she would come to him. But if he’s right, she’s been seeing this person for a long time now. A long enough time to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>concerning. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Onthar finally speaks, “You get the time off -”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire could </span>
  <em>
    <span>hug</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, but settles for a sigh of relief as the smile on her face becomes more relaxed - until he continues speaking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>-But there’s one condition.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Desire looks up at him with concern, her eyes fleeting, but he stares back at her with a steel-coated gaze and hooded, serious eyes. “You have to bring them over for dinner. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I get to meet them.”</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The unspoken </span>
  <em>
    <span>to see if they’re good enough for you</span>
  </em>
  <span> is there, underlying his words. She knows exactly what it means for any romantic partner to meet the other’s family - she’s not that daft. She knows that it would be a serious thing for Neronvain to meet her adoptive father, which in of itself is concerning and stressful. But that’s not the most stressful part. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She knows that Onthar knows Neronvain. She knows that Onthar is aware of Neronvain’s past. The truth about what happened to him - what he did. She remembers the long, heated and one-sided conversations that Onthar’s had about Neronvain, condemning him, his actions. How upset he was when he learned that Neronvain was back and seemingly well-received by his brother. He glances at Desire and is painfully reminded that Alagarthas isn’t the only one who accepted his brother’s ‘atonement.’ If he had a coin for every time Desire told him of her adventures with that snake, then he’d be a fucking prince himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A bubble of nervous laughter flutters to the surface and words just seem to fall out of her mouth without thinking, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay~ </span>
  </em>
  <span>But you’d be surprised that you already know him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Onthar merely grunts, though his eyebrow quirks ever so slightly, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Then you should have no problem bringing him to dinner.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t give her a chance to reject the request, simply walking off briskly, his mind preoccupied as he thinks of all the preferred candidates that are around his daughter often enough. He thinks of all the knights in training that tried to sweeten her with words; to many of the boys’ disappointment, she never seemed to notice. He almost laughs as he remembers the way she unknowingly crushed hearts. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But that doesn’t mean that the list is completely barren. There are enough knights that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> get along with to keep him occupied.  A small group of knights had just returned from a month-long journey -and to their horror, he starts going through them first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Neronvain isn’t thrilled about the idea about going to the dinner, but he does take it better than Desire expected it. His entire demeanor about it is more dreading it out of nervousness than anger or an undesirement of officially meeting her father. He has long accepted the fact that he would have to meet who Desire considers to be her family eventually, but it is actually doing it that is difficult. It doesn’t help that he knows that Onthar, as a leader in the Order, would know about the truth of his past. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The low light of their shared room flickers. Though sharing a bed together is still a semi-new concept to them due to being so far apart for so long, they both relished in the idea of finally being able to spend this intimate time together. It brings a sense of relief and long-awaited comfort to them both. Though, even as they huddle on the bed together, Neronvain’s eyes still flicker to the unopened letters on the desk with a heavy heart that whispers insecurities into his ear. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire’s arms squeeze around him tighter. He doesn’t object, curling into her chest with his arms pinned between them. She mumbles of how no matter how the dinner goes, they will get through it. That even though she cares about Onthar thinks, it won’t change her view on him or how she feels. He doubts that, though he knows nothing will ever change about how he feels about her, whether or not his feelings are returned to the same degree still nags at him. Neronvain buries his face into her chest, breathing in the way she smells and relishing in the softness of her skin; the heat of the room leaves them both with little to cover themselves. Desire’s voice drifts into a soft sigh as she presses herself into him. Neronvain glances at her questioningly as her hand drifts down in between them. As he feels her fingertips trace circles at his naval, he understands exactly what she is planning to do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do that,” his voice is breathy against her breast as he presses a chaste kiss to her collarbone. Desire hums and he can feel the way it makes her chest vibrate. He sighs wistfully as she palms him, squeezing through the thin fabric of his more silky underwear. Shamefully, his hips buck into her grasp by reflex, making her grin wildly in triumph.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do it,” she whispers into his ear. He shivers when he feels her teeth scrape alongside it. “It’s been a long time, my prince~”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He starts to protest, wondering about her own pleasure, but she shushes him gently as she slips her hand into his boxers, “You can worry about me later~”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t exactly say no to her, not when the offer is too good to pass up and every touch of her fingertips is electric. She makes quick work of the little fabric that divides them as he groans into her breast between soft kisses. He bucks his hips into her grasp, mumbling her name into her skin. He knows that he won’t last long. She knows it too, whispering sweet nothings to him. It has been far too long and he feels it coming, the build up in his gut as his member throbs into her palm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire whispers encouragement and each word is a soft siren’s song that makes him sigh wistfully as he finally finishes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Onthar promises to behave, but it took a lot before Desire actually believed him enough to actually go through with the dinner. She is careful not to mention Neronvain’s name, but just as she expected, Onthar figured out exactly who Neronvain was before they even arrived for dinner. Despite opening the door with a little more vigor, his entire demeanor changes the moment his eyes land on Neronvain, confirming his worst fears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even now, the food on the table is starting to grow cold as not more than a few words are spoken. Desire at least eats her share, just watching them nervously, her eyes flickering between them as she wonders if she needs to be prepared for a fight to break out. She silently pleads for the both of them to behave and so far, it is working - for the most part. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air is so thick that she could cut it with a knife. Neronvain sits calmly, but his eyes are matching Onthar’s glare. But while he sits with his hands clasped in front of him on the table, Onthar sits clutching his silverware and knife so tightly that his knuckles turn white.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Onthar’s voice is strained as it cuts through the tension, deep and threatening. Neronvain doesn’t waver as Desire buries her face into her hands with soft curses. Neronvain refuses to look away from Onthar.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I love her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Neronvain’s answer is direct, but sincere enough that it makes Onthar grind his jaw. Desire is relieved when her father at least lets go of the threatening silverware. Instead, his fists hit the table with a solid thud. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not good enough to love her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire’s hands are torn away from her face as she shoots up to look at Neronvain, her eyes soft as her heart aches at the honesty in his voice. He doesn’t look at her, but she reaches out and grabs his clasped hands, squeezing them softly. She frowns when she notices the white shade against his knuckles and little ridges in his palms the size of his nails.  Only then does he release the breath he’s holding and finally breaks away from Onthar’s glare. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the month passes by too fast for either of their liking. Each moment that they are together is treasured, with neither wanting to part from each other. There has hardly been a moment that they were not at each other’s side. Even tonight, despite the late hour and with only a few days to spare until Neronvain parts away from her again, they are together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sun beams down on them from above as they have settled into a spot just outside of the bustle of the city. The long rolling fields of the meadows that lead into the farmland are comforting and quiet, with no loud drunks nor bustling carriages. For a moment, they can simply just </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Relax. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Together.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Desire admits that she could live in this moment forever, curled up on Neronvain’s lap as he leans against a shaded tree, her head on his chest as he rubs comforting circles on her back that make it so easy to just want to fall asleep right here. Grass bristles and itches against her legs, but it only makes her curl her knees in and raise higher onto his lap. He holds her tight and presses a gentle kiss to her head, careful of her jutting horns. There is something about just being here with him that makes everything else go away, she realizes as she stares distantly up at the sky, absently thinking of the shape of the clouds.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Some say that they can tell the future by simply looking at the sky,” Neronvain offhandedly comments, his eyes following hers to the clouds, wondering what it is that she sees in them. When Desire only hums, eyes drifting close, he glances toward her questionably, “What about you, Desire? Do you look at the sky to see our future or do you think of it often?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think about it all the time,” Desire admits, but her eyes are still closed as she leans against him, “It’s hard not to when we’re both working so hard to achieve our future. One day, I’ll be the general and you’re already unofficially your brother’s advisor.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t see the disappointed, harrowed look in his eyes or feel the way he flinches and hesitates. She only feels the way that he stopped rubbing circles on her back, making her wiggle in his arms as if asking for him to continue. He sighs deeply, but eventually he continues to rub circles on her back as he presses another kiss to the top of her head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just - think about it, Desire. Promise me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She isn’t sure what exactly it is that she is promising. She already answered his question. She thinks about their future all the time - it’s the only thing that makes her work as hard as she does. But she trusts him and she nods simply, whispering a sworn promise that if it means so much to him, she will give it more thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When the day finally arrives, they both know that he (technically) has to go. He has a job to do. Alagarthas needs him, but so does she. Come morning, as the sun starts to dawn and shine in through the window, her arms wrap around his waist as he sits up on the bed. She mumbles into his skin as he clasps his hands over hers with a painful understanding. He needs her too. He grabs her hands tightly, squeezing them before he lifts her knuckles to his lips to press chaste kisses. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We both know that I had to eventually return to the castle.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire’s reply is incoherent, but Neronvain smiles as he feels her kiss one of the scars on his lower back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” His voice is soft and understanding - he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He knows how hard it is to leave her when he never wants to leave. “I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go, Desire. I hope you know that, but it is my duty just as it is yours to return to training.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wrestles himself out of her grasp to finish getting ready, he has to leave early to be able to make it back at the castle in a reasonable amount of time. Alagarthas will be expecting him. Desire just sprawls out on the bed, groaning her disappointment into the sheets with exasperation. He smiles softly and spends a moment running his fingers through her hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just promise me that you’ll return my letters this time around. I think it will help make things a lot easier on the both of us.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire glances up at him, half of her face still buried in the blankets. Her eyes just look up at him, wide and innocent, “You saw that, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t particularly do well hiding it.” He gestures toward the unopened letters littering her desk. He softens when he sees the guilty shame in her eyes, stepping forward to rub the top of her head once more, “Promise to read the old ones as well, love. It will do you some good to see what I’ve written to you while I was gone and I promise that we will get to see each other more often soon. I have to get going, I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desire pouts, even as she raises herself from the bed to press a longer, deeper kiss to his lips. Her grasp around him is tight, for a moment he thinks he will have to regretfully pry himself out of her arms. This time, however, she lets him go with a sad acceptance. Her palm goes to his cheek as their foreheads press together. He can see the wet glimmer in her eyes that she is trying to blink away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too - </span>
  <em>
    <span>be safe.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Onthar notices the change in Desire immediately. As much as he hates to see the positive effects of Neronvain’s visit, the results are pretty clear as she has yet to fall today and is swinging with much more vigor. The tired, worn expression on her face is gone, replaced with a fire in her eyes and a glow against her skin as she plants her heels firmly into the ground. She knocks her opponent down easily, laughing even as she helps him back up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grumbles under his breath as he stomps through the training yard; the other guards do best to part away from him the moment that they spot him coming. His furrowed brows and hooded, stern eyes are all the warning that they need; something is on his mind and judging from the mumbled curses and heavy steps he takes, whatever it is weighing on him. The few that catch his eyes scurry away at his sharp glare, daring them to say something or to give him a reason to challenge them to a fight. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Onthar is surprised when Neronvain catches him alone. He didn’t suspect the elf of having the gull or bravery to face him head on by himself. With no Desire around, his promise to behave is brittle, but he suspects that whatever may happen between them that Neronvain won’t say a word to Desire. In his experience, there is always a reason that a partner or spouse wants to talk to the parent alone. It’s rarely good news. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m going to ask for her hand in marriage.” Neronvain states simply, straight to the point. In any other conversation with anyone else (literally </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>anyone else), </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Onthar may have admired the blunt honesty in the approach. “I know you don’t particularly like me and I don’t particularly care. I plan on marrying her whether you accept us or not…”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The edges of his hard gaze soften, “-But your acceptance and blessing would be very appreciated by Desire.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Onthar’s reaction is immediate, but Neronvain stands his ground calmly as Onthar’s voice threatens to make his ears bleed as he screeches and curses into the air. The last thin thread of patience he had has broken at the request as he continues to say the same things he said at the dinner. The main point that he is not good enough for his daughter - something Neronvain is</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em> very </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>well aware of.  It is still not nearly as bad as Neronvain expected. He had prepared himself to be punched by the older warrior. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The longer Onthar rants, the more he seems to tire himself out until eventually he just curses under his breath as he sighs deeply, looking at Neronvain with a pained expression. The look of a father who doesn’t agree with his daughter’s choices, but loves her. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t like you,” Onthar finally says, his voice more even as Neronvain’s ears ring, “But even the blind can see how much you two love each other. Always kissing and holding each other like two damn honeymooners. And even I can appreciate the fact that you at least fucking asked.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Neronvain holds his breath, his heart stopping in his chest as he looks at Onthar in anticipation, unsure of where the conversation will go. Finally, he continues.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I am not saying yes. Not immediately. But I am not saying no either. If you can prove that you genuinely care about my daughter and her future, then I will grant my damn blessing.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Continued</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Neronvain’s visit does little to calm her, as he gave her a lot to think about before he left. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Think about it, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he had said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Think about what? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She grunts as she swings her weapon at one of the dummies. Her hit knocks it over into the ground. Her heart pounds wildly against her chest. She doesn’t understand what there is to think about. They’ve already talked about their futures before; both of them are working hard on achieving their goals and are already accomplishing most of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She read his letters, just as he asked, but they brought little clarity. She reread the poetic lines and romantic turns of phrase every night. She read between the lines. Instead of answers, she was always left with a fluttering heart and a new, more passionate longing to see him again. Even now, she stays more on top of every letter he sends, just so she can fawn over new paragraphs. Her responses are never as elegant and comparing their handwriting makes hers look like chicken scratch. She hopes it’s enough. That it gets across what she feels. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A blow knocks the wind out of her and she hits the ground with a solid thud. For the first time in her adult life, Onthar towers over her as he swings his ax over his shoulder with a gruff huff. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re distracted again.” He states simply, narrowing his eyes at her accusingly. The gaze makes her flush, bright pink spreading across his cheeks. His expression sours, “Thinkin’ about that damn elf….”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He mutters the latter part more to himself, scowling as she scatters to pick herself back up. He doesn’t bother to help her; she makes it clear that she doesn’t need it. The flush on her face stays as she shuffles on her feet, unsure if she should say anything, but Onthar beats her to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If that fucking elf is the only thing you’re going to be thinking about, you may as well go see him.” His tone is sour with a forced acceptance as he rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first, Desire thinks that he has to be kidding. Onthar never offers her time off and his disagreement on her choice of suitor is not well hidden. She blinks owlishly at the offer, waiting for him to laugh or tell her to get back to work. Instead, Onthar just huffs and shoves her, as if ushering away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what are you waiting for? Go on and </span>
  <em>
    <span>get.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire’s face breaks out into a wolfish, sappy grin as she fully processes the fact that Onthar is, in fact, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not joking.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> go and see Neronvain. After months away, the mere thought of it makes her heart skip a beat. Onthar is taken aback when the body he’s pushing is suddenly moving on its own and has its arms wrapped tightly around him, picking up a few inches off the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Onthar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s gone before he can get onto her for picking him up in front of the other knights. He can see them all staring at him in disbelief and shock, but when his voice roars at them to get back to work, they all quickly make a habit of forgetting what they saw.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Desire is so excited about leaving, that she scrambles to get her things together. Most of her supplies are haphazardly thrown into a sack, others dangerously threateningly to spill out of its pockets. She is quick to make her way through town, a sappy, love-struck grin still stuck on her face as she strolls between the town’s vendors. She wonders who is going to be more excited - her or Neronvain. If he will take her in his arms or sweep her up in a kiss? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A gleam of light catches her eyes. She pauses and takes a step back to go toward one of the vendors, where light is beaming off of their displayed jewels. Her expression turns thoughtful, her eyes wistfully focused on one of the jewels, staring at her reflection in its surface. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Think about it…</span>
  </em>
  <span> A soft smile turns on her lips, </span>
  <em>
    <span>our future… </span>
  </em>
  <span>An image passes in her mind of marriage, but it is fleeting. The image is as gone as fast as it came as she shakes her head, glancing up at the hopeful vendor that watches her leave in contempt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She forces herself to walk away. She has to. It is the only way she can swallow down the hopeful images that those jewels brought to her and bring herself back to reality. Marriage would be nice - better than nice, actually, but she doubts that it would for them. Not because of a lack of love, but because of a lack in everything else. Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> lacks everything else. Marriage to an advisor - and former elf price - is meant to be for the higher ladies of society. A gorgeous elf with flowing hair and soft skin who smells like wild berries. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes harden as she lifts her chin up, her steps becoming more confident. She forces herself to think of those elegant letters, full of love and care. She thinks of the way that Neronvain holds her and the taste of his lips. She has no idea if marriage is a possibility for them, but she knows that there is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span> to begin with. They are a </span>
  <em>
    <span>couple</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn good one.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In her excitement and newly secured confidence, she is out of town before she writes to warn her other half of her arrival. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Alagathas is </span>
  <em>
    <span>bored. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’s known his whole life that the routine of a prince is not always lavish parties, but that doesn’t make accepting the more mundane tasks any easier. He has been staring at the financial papers for so long that the numbers are starting to blur together. He spins in his chair aimlessly as he reads over the papers, moving around while he reads at least helps keep that itch to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>run </span>
  </em>
  <span>out of the door at ease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He yawns, stretching out only to stop suddenly as one of the transactions catches his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now wait just a second here… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Suddenly, the numbers on the financial papers have become much more interesting as he gleams over the purchase of a property in Elturel that has his brother’s name attached to it. There are few things that Neronvain could be doing by buying a property in the same city his girlfriend lives in. A mischievous grin spreads, his finger tapping absently at the side of his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well, well, brother, I was wondering when you would finally make things official. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could use this to his brotherly advantage, as he likes to call it. Anything that he can tease Neronvain with is great ammunition of any brother to have. He could have so much fun seeing just how much he can torture his brother with this. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Alagarthas is the first one to notice Desire’s arrival, at the expense of Neronvain. The brother lights up, grin stretching across his face with outstretched arms that quickly envelop Desire before she can protest. A light flush dusts her cheeks as Alagarthas does his best to squeeze the life out of her, gushing about how much he’s missed her company.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain is still quick on his feet. The moment that word reaches him of his beloved’s arrival, he scrambles to find her, not quite believing that she is here until he can see her - </span>
  <em>
    <span>hold her. </span>
  </em>
  <span>With both his mind and heart racing, he gracefully rushes through the castle. It takes almost too long to find her, as he spots her in the hallways, barely arriving with her pack still on her is back and a slightly tired, stressed expression on her face. Beside her, Alagarthas is talking animatedly, waving his arms around with a large grin on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just not fair that only Neronvain got to see you last time,” Alagarthas teases lightly, pouting as he is forced to let go of her, “He’s not the only one whose missed you, you know? Though I do suppose he won’t be missing you for long considering the land he -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain’s eyes widen as a sense of dread fills him. The realization that his brother is fully aware of his purchase hits him hard as he rushes into the conversation, his expression calm, but happy as he glances toward Desire with love. When he glances toward his brother, the smile is more forced as he speaks with grinding teeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-considering that you’re here now,” Neronvain quickly corrects his brother, his voice strained before he looks toward Desire and continues, “I have missed you, very dearly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire flushes at the sincerity in his eyes as he takes her hand without hesitation, placing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. The confusion over what Alagarthas was saying is long gone the moment that she sees Neronvain as the befuddlement transfers toward the other brother. Alagarthas looks at Neronvain with quirked brows as Neronvain hugs Desire, he makes a motion for his brother to </span>
  <em>
    <span>shut up </span>
  </em>
  <span>behind her back. Putting the dots together as he realizes that Desire </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t know </span>
  </em>
  <span>about the purchase his brother made, Alagarthas signals that he understands while a devious smile stretches across his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite Desire’s confusion over Alagarthas’ vapt interest in Elturel, she does her best to entertain his questions over a rare private dinner with the brothers. Alagarthas watches her with sparkles in his eyes and a charming grin as she quickly dissolves into the conversation, her enthusiasm carrying into her words as she her favorite shops and festivities there. She has to admit that it is not exactly what she had in mind when visiting, hoping to leave her training behind for a little while to focus on </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A part of her feels rather disappointed that she has yet to have a private moment with Neronvain. The more they talk about Eturel, the more she thinks of the letters that Neronvain wrote to her and the jewelry vendor that she passed on her way out of town. Her eyes keep desperately, frantically, glancing toward him as she talks over dinner. His hand grips her knee under the table. When he squeezes particularly hard, she brushes it off as just him missing her for long, something that she can relate to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think that Desire would rather not talk about work,” Neronvain speaks, a tick forming under his eye, “She is on vacation, after all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alagarthas seems unbothered, waving the comment off, “Nonsense! I want to know as much as possible about what it’s like living in Elturel, </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alagarthas meets Neronvain’s gaze, challenging him. An unspoken conversation passes between them that Desire does not understand as her hands go to her plate, nervously picking at her food at the change of energy in the room. Neronvain’s grip on her knee is almost painful, his nails digging through the fabric of her trousers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course I do.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Neronvain’s is forced to answer, a low gravelly tone to his voice as his eyes become hooded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alagarthas just grins wildly, waving his hands about as he claps, as if the matter is settled, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fantastic!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Then there is no problem, is there? Desire, why don’t you tell me more about the land over there in Elturel? Is it - </span>
  <em>
    <span>affordable?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire doesn’t notice Neronvain’s leg shoots under the table. Alagarthas’ face becomes strained as his brother’s foot makes sudden, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>contact with his shin. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain knows that his brother is going to give him trouble over sharing his personal quarters with Desire instead of getting her a room of her own. But he also knows that this is the only way to get any sort of private time with the love of his life; his brother, as much as he loves him, has constantly blocked any attempts that they have made to have private </span>
  <em>
    <span>discussions</span>
  </em>
  <span> anywhere else in the castle. But if there is one rule that Alagarthas will respect it is to never enter Neronvain’s quarters, especially with company as lovely as Desire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>The quiet in his room is such a harsh contrast to the hustle and bustle of the castle and the loud voice of his brother that seems to always echo along the stone. He takes a deep breath of relief when no one comes bursting in moments after he shuts the door. Accepting that they </span><em><span>are</span></em> <em><span>finally</span></em><span> alone, Neronvain immediately turns to Desire. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shifts on her feet nervously, not quite meeting his eyes with a flush already setting across her face. Neronvain takes a step toward her, his expression softening as the stress from these past months start to fade away. When his hand touches her face, she leans into it with a sigh, putting her own hand over his as her eyes drift close to savor the moment, accepting that she is really </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span> with </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look more beautiful than I remember,” Neronvain lightly teases her, closing the gap between them as his forehead brushes against hers. She bites at her bottom lip nervously. When her eyes flutter open, he swears that he can see her heart in the reflection; he knows her heart as well as he knows her. She has never been the best at hiding when something else occupies her mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has never really pressed her for any answers, bothered her with constant questions, but after months of being apart and his last request to her still ringing in his ears, he can’t help but ask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s bothering you, love?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice is thick with emotion and he can see the flinch in her face as she leans more into his palm. Something is stirring in that beautiful mind of hers and the longer she stays silent, the more he fears the worst and the more he is scared that she realized she made a mistake with him. He doesn’t ask a second time, giving her as much time as she needs to speak, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He can feel hers doing the same as she finally looks at him again, an unusually shy expression on her beat red face as she bites at her lower lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Neronvain - do - </span>
  <em>
    <span>do you want to marry me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The shock the question gives him passes quickly and turns into a relieved amusement, his eyes twinkling. He almost makes a joke about not expecting a proposal from her like this, but he swallows the temptation as he sees the sincere embarrassment on her face as she starts to try to hide herself into his chest. Rarely, has he ever seen her this flustered. It sparks something deep in his soul - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Amusement? Happiness? Love? Relief? </span>
  </em>
  <span>- that can’t be named. All he knows is that he rather likes it. She can feel the vibration of his chuckle and glances up, almost offended as her cheeks start to puff up. He eases her quickly, his hand gently carding through her hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like you to be so red,” Neronvain’s voice is soft and soothing to her ears as she relaxes against him. His hand goes from her hair to the nape of her neck, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb as the other goes to the small of her back. “Am I allowed to ask what brought this to your curious mind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire’s voice is too muffled by his chest to be understood. When asked to repeat herself, she does so with an embarrassed huff, pulling herself away from his just enough to speak properly. Her eyes glance around, not brave enough to meet his own as she answers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought really hard about our future,” Desire’s voice is still soft, barely audible, “And I thought about what you meant and that </span>
  <em>
    <span>our </span>
  </em>
  <span>future is just that - it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>ours. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s not about our </span>
  <em>
    <span>accomplishments</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>work,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but </span>
  <em>
    <span>us.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is thrilled at the way the flush spreads down her neck and through her shoulders. Her hands grip at his shirt, nervously clutching the fabric like a lifeline.  “Marriage seems like the next step, right? And it feels like the </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> next step.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her cheeks puff up as she buries herself back into his chest, mumbling about how he still hasn’t answered her question. Neronvain’s constant chuckling continues to vibrate through her chest like a comforting lullaby as his fingertips start to trail down the blush against the skin of her neck. His hand on her back just brings her as close as she can possibly be, just as afraid of letting her go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Desire, I do want to marry you.” Neronvain reassures her, making her shiver against him as his nail gently scrapes against her collarbone, fascinated by the way her skin turns white against the pressure before returning back to the dark shade of red that has enveloped her. “The real question, my love, is if you are willing to marry me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her laugh is booming - a mix of relief and pure joy. Her shoulders shake as she glances up at him with gleaming eyes and a not well contained sniffle. Her answer is swift, with no hesitation. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, yes </span>
  </em>
  <span>I want to marry you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The relief shared between them is immediate, a weight lifting off their chests as they feel they can finally breathe more freely. The biggest fears for them, as much as they have clung onto them and the insecurity that has dug its way into their minds, seem to disperse. Fears don’t matter anymore, not with confirmation that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> going somewhere in the future; they </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> be together, no matter the cost. A silence instills between them, neither willing to break it as they stand in the room holding each other, finding comfort in the way the other breathes. This moment becomes a dream - and neither want to be the first to wake up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After what feels like an eternity, Desire finally looks up at him. Her nose brushes against his as she grins. Her arms wrap around him tightly to keep him from escaping. “Does that mean that you’re proposing to me, little prince?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain lets out one of the most sincere and relieved laughs that he can ever remember. He doesn’t try to break free from her grasp, daring to graze his lips against hers, “Perhaps, I suppose you’ll find out eventually, won’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire pulls from him abruptly and he looks affronted as she gently knocks him in the chest with her hand. Neronvain relishes in the way she laughs, shaking her head in disbelief as she starts to head toward the bed, ushering him along with her. She doesn’t have to ask him twice as he quickly strips down to join her underneath the covers, unabashedly eager to spend more intimate time with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire is hesitant when approaching Alagarthas, but with Neronvain’s seemingly constant watch on his brother this visit, she is unsure when she will get the chance to visit with Alagarthas privately again. She is not willing to wait to talk to him until she may see him again, not when it comes to this delicate topic. After her conversation with Neronvain, Desire is more sure than ever that she is making the right decision. For her to continue, however, she needs to check off all of her boxes. One such box is the approval of the brother she once, admittedly, was heavily enamored with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sucks up the nervous energy that is bubbling under her skin, rolling her shoulders as she taps Alagarthas on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have a moment to talk,” Desire asks, her voice lacking its usual bravo, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Privately.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alagarthas’ eyes light up, beaming at the chance to speak with her without the watchful eye of Neronvain. The moment that she pulls him aside and there is no sight of his brother, he is already ready to spill all the things that he has barely been keeping a lid on since she came. He is, at the moment, a shaken bottle of ale ready to burst. He is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> prepared to just tell her all of his brother’s plans for her, if only because he is unsure if Neronvain will ever actually get the confidence to do it. If it is one thing that he has learned with these two is that sometimes, they need a nudge to get the ball rolling - a nudge he is more than willing to provide. When she goes to speak first, he slaps his hand over his mouth as casually as he can just to keep himself quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oomph,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Desire’s fingers card through her hair as she bites at her bottom lip, “I’m not sure how to ask you, but I know that you’re one of the few people who both Neronvain and I trust so completely. Which also makes you one of the few opinions we </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> care about…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire hardens, her stance becoming more firm as she looks Alagatheris in the eyes with no hesitation. “I want to marry your brother, Alagarthas, and it would mean a lot to us - </span>
  <em>
    <span>to me - </span>
  </em>
  <span>if I had your approval first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It means just as much to Neronvain,  but Alagarthas’ approval has multiple different meanings with Desire. Not only would his approval be the sign that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> going in the right direction, but it would also be a way for her to close whatever doors may remain between them. She’s not stupid, she knows in her heart that Alagarthas’ never cared for her the way that Neronvain does nor did she ever </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>Alagarthas the way that she does Neronvain. She just needs that one final nail in that coffin to confirm what she’s always known - that there is no remaining infatuation between them. Alagarthas may not know what his answer is to her, but he certainly doesn’t waste any time in giving it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you have my approval!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words immediately spill out of Alagarthas’ mouth, all other thoughts forgotten as he wraps his arms tightly around her. He squeezes her tightly as he realizes the importance of what she is asking. It means that both of them are on the same page when it comes to their relationship, for once in their lives. Alagarthas sniffles into Desire’s shoulder as she awkwardly pats his back comfortingly at the small tears that gather in his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He supposes both of them didn’t need as much of a nudge as he thought; </span>
  <em>
    <span>they’re finally growing up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moment that Desire leaves is once again one of the hardest things Neronvain has to witness. Each time, it feels like she takes a part of his heart with her. They shamelessly hold each other just before she departs, their noses inches apart as they share a flurry of heartfelt goodbyes and kisses. Neronvain notices the way that Alagarthas makes a show of gagging from behind Desire, but promptly ignores it as he does most of his brother’s antics. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire hesitates taking herself away from him. Biting at her bottom lip, she wonders about when they will be able to see each other again. If there will ever be another perfect moment like this and if there ever is such a thing as a perfect moment. Her hand drops to her pocket until she finds the smooth metal of a ring. After their conversation of their future, she is more sure than ever that she made the right decision with the purchase before she left. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Granted the jeweler was a good smooth talker until I caved in. </span>
  </em>
  <span>At the thought of her home, she thinks of her stern father. She knows that her love for Neronvain isn’t going to be stopped by anything, even him as painful as that is. But she needs to say that at least she tried to get his approval before she does this.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She drops the ring in her pocket, wrapping both hands around Neronvain as she squeezes him tightly. Neronvain looks at her curiously, noticing the expression on her face and his heart aches for the way that they always have to disappear from each other. His grip tightens on her again briefly and she returns it with vigor before they share one last, longing kiss before she leaves. She makes a point to laugh and wave goodbye to Alagarthas, who is vocal that his goodbye from her is never as good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain watches her until she starts to disappear into the horizon line. She glances back a few times at him and he gives her encouraging smiles and waves that she returns before, eventually, she is too far away to see him when she glances over her shoulder. Neronvain makes no hurry to move away from his spot, his eyes still on the horizon with a firm decision already being made in his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful, brother, you look lovesick already,” Alagarthas teases, nudging Neronvain’s shoulder, “She’s barely even into town.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain, for once, doesn’t even seem to hear his brother. His eyes still planted where Desire left, his arms crossed with a firm look in his eyes as he speaks, “Alagarthas.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The stern tone in his voice makes Alagarthas falter, wondering if he hit a rare soft spot by teasing Desire’s farewell. He glances at Neronvain curiously, waiting for him to continue with some scolding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Mom’s ring still in the treasury?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alagarthas squeals.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Loud enough that Neronvain rushes to put his palm over his brother’s mouth lest Desire hear it from her distance and get suspicious.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire is never sure how to ask Onthar for his blessing. It is a position that she never really thought that she would be in, if she were honest. Marriage was always such a faraway concept for her to really grasp. An unachievable, unrealistic goal. A fairytale told to her and all the other little children to make them believe in happy endings. Her mouth feels dry as she lands a particularly hard hit to her sparring partner. She winces at the loud thud he makes when he falls. She reaches her hand toward him to help him up, but instead gets thrown to the ground herself when he grasps her hand. She finds herself on her back with a weapon at her throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never let your guard down,” Onthar says firmly before pulling his weapon away from her weak spot. When he swings it around, the handle toward her, she almost takes the peace offering to help her up. She grasps the handle firmly and Onthar prepares himself to help lift her weight up, but instead she snags his weapon from his hands firmly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finds himself on the ground again as she knocks his knee out from under him with the shaft of the weapon, but he can’t bring himself to be mad as a swelling of pride blossoms. She towers over him, grinning wildly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I offer to help you up, will you actually take it or are we going to continue to go back and forth endlessly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar’s laugh resonates like deep distant thunder as he accepts the hand given to him and is lifted up back to his feet. Desire offers his weapon back to him with a lopsided grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been better since you returned,” Onthar states simply, with a suspicious gleam entering his eyes as he takes his weapon back, “Should I be concerned?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She has been focusing better. Focusing solely on training helps her put off the question that has been burning its way into her mind, despite knowing that she would have to ask it eventually. There is a reason this is the first spar that they’ve shared, she has avoided him during training so there was no risk of her blurting it out. The more that he stares at her, waiting impatiently for some kind of answer, the more the question burns its way onto her tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I marry Neronvain, will we have your blessing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar seems taken back, but not ultimately surprised as he grumbles to himself for a moment. Desire shuffles on her feet, leaning against her weapon, not quite brave enough to look at Onthar directly for an answer that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> needs to hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I have no choice if </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one asking me…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire’s attention snaps toward him suddenly, her eyes wide as she processes what he said. Onthar is startled backwards as Desire lunges for him. He lets out disgruntled curses as his feet get lifted a few inches off the ground by her hug, eying the soldiers that glance their way with disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her training is rapidly coming to an end. Even Desire cannot believe that the day of her knighting ceremony is approaching soon. It seemed so far away when she began that she wasn’t sure if she would ever really get here, now that she is, she doesn’t know how to handle the butterflies in her gut or the excitement in her chest. While most of the others have taken to celebrating at the bar when given the chance only a day before the ceremony, Desire finds herself waiting at the training grounds for </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>arrival. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She has more than one reason to be excited and nervous. Her knighting ceremony, as large as a deal as it is, does not compare to what she plans on doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>afterward. </span>
  </em>
  <span>With the blessing of Onthar secured as well as the blessing of Alagarthas, she knows what she has to do. She knows that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to ask Neronvain to marry her and that after the ceremony </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>be the perfect moment. For once, there are no doubts in her mind about it. The only question is if she can contain herself until then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mind has been swirling for months now. Her training has been full of her daydreams - from thinking about what she would wear to where their home will be. She thinks about the field just outside of town and how it would have plenty of room for them - </span>
  <em>
    <span>and then some.</span>
  </em>
  <span> For the first time, she thinks of children. She thinks about how many children they will end up having - two seems like a good number to her, but she is not even sure if Neronvain has thought that far ahead beyond marriage. It doesn’t matter though because as long as she is with him, she knows that she will be happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moment that Desire spots Neronvain, she tackles him, wrapping her arms tightly around him as the wind gets knocked out of his lungs. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of her lips, looking at her in amusement as he tries to regain his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I should be grateful that you are not wearing your armor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire flushes, gently pulling herself off of him, “It gets too awkward trying to set up things for the ceremony in it. I’m sorry we can’t spend more time together right now, everything is getting pretty hectic, pretty fast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain kisses her worries away, reassuring her that he will find a way to pass the time, before she is whisked away for preparations, glancing at him over her shoulder with concern. Neronvain waits until she is far enough way to go wandering about the training grounds, looking for a particular someone that he needs to talk to before tomorrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar spots Neronvain instantly, swinging his weapon with enough force that it gets halfway through the dummy as he meets Neronvain’s eyes. The intimidation tactic does little as Neronvain continues on his track toward the other man, his chin high and shoulders back. He knows that this will be the last chance he gets to secure the man’s blessing before he continues his life with Desire, with or without approval. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Onthar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain’s voice forces Onthar to accept the fact that they’re going to have a conversation and that Neronvain isn’t going to leave him alone so easily. He grunts as he rips his weapon out of the dummy and swings it down, planting it into the ground before he turns toward the elf, his displeasement clear on his face. Neronvain doesn’t get another word out before Onthar cuts him off harshly, raising a hand to silence whatever word is going to come from Neronvain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know what you’re going to ask,” Onthar states simply, “It’s getting to be about that time, I suppose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar brushes his hands off casually, grim and sweat beading down his face, trying his best to ignore the elf. Neronvain, however, does not let the subject drop so easily, following Onthar when he starts to wander away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you made a decision?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aye.” Onthar stops in his tracks, facing Neronvain once more, his face stern and angry, “Unfortunately, I fucking have. Because my daughter has made it painfully clear that I can’t fucking get rid of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar’s mumbles curses under his breath as he continues, “Despite the fact that I can barely stand you as is, she just can’t get enough of you and as much as I fucking hate it, you make her happy. She’s been the happiest I’ve ever seen her since she’s known you and I know you’ll continue to make her happy otherwise you and I are going to have a very different conversation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar’s thinly veiled threat doesn’t go unnoticed. Neronvain seems unbothered, nearly offended at the idea of him ever making Desire anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy. Believing the conversation to be done, and not quite wanting to really say much more on it, Onthar continues to walk off. Desire is not the only one who has a lot of work to do for the ceremony; he has things to do, places to be. All of which would be better than staying here with the elf. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though Onthar is radiating with frustration and anger at not having things exactly as he would have liked, Neronvain cuts him off, standing in front of the other man to keep him from wandering off further before he gets a firm decision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that a </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Onthar scowls, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s a fucking yes, now get out of my way before I change my mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The ceremony goes off without a hitch; Desire’s heart feels like it is going to jump out of her chest byt the time everything is official. Even as the festivities and parties start to drag on into the night, she has yet to be able to wipe the grin off of her face. She doesn’t think she wants to. The energy in the air is full of joy and celebration and it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>contagious. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s even better considering the company that is with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desire steals glances at Neronvain whenever his attention is elsewhere, but she catches him doing the same as they stroll away from the festivities. Their interlocked hands and the way their shoulders brush against each other barely gain any attention from the newly titled knights as everyone else's attention is toward drinking and games. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s hard to think that we’ve come this far, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neronvain’s hand squeezes hers as they start to drift on a more beaten path toward the fields. Desire squeezes his hand back, her free hand still in her pocket as she fiddles with the ring. She finds trouble finding her voice as she thinks about what is about to come, just how much they’re about to change their lives - their relationship, their </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not as hard as you think.” Desire admits, her voice soft as she licks her lips, trying to satisfy the dry cottonmouth that is forming along her tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their walk starts to come to an end. Desire doesn’t argue with Neronvain as he stops them, wanting to enjoy the peace and quiet that this night has brought them. When his hand pulls from hers, looking off into the field as if he can see something that she cannot, she pulls the ring out from her pocket to palm it, fiddling with the jewelry as she waits for the moment. She doesn’t even know what she’s going to say yet, but it appears that Neronvain </span>
  <em>
    <span>does.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was never that hard for you,” Neronvain agrees as he continues, still not glancing toward her, “You’ve always seen the best in people, even when they didn’t think there was anything good left in them. Myself included.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finally looks to her and she almost drops the ring as she scrambles to hide it. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything as he gestures for her to come toward him. He puts his hands on her shoulders and faces her toward the empty field, “Just look at it. Our future.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An empty field,” Desire lightly jokes, her knuckles turning white around the ring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands leave her shoulders as he gestures toward the field, “Just focus on it, love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a moment, but she listens to him with amusement, still clutching the ring like a lifeline. She watches the field intensely, squinting her eyes to try to see what Neronvain sees. Though a part of her wonders if this is just another mystic message that will take her months to figure out. She doesn’t see the way that Neronvain waves his hand, but she does see the blur around the field start to focus, a veil dropping. She blinks owlishly as a house starts to form in the field - the perfect size for them, she offhandedly notes - before she turns on her heels, questions in her throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Neronvain, just what is -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stops as Neronvain stands there, looking as devilishly handsome as he always has, but a ring decorated with jewels in between his fingers, offering it outward to her expectedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I meant what I said before.” Neronvain states. “That I wanted to marry you. Admittedly, I have been wanting to marry you even </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> we talked about the possibility. Possibly for even longer than I wanted to truly admit, I’m afraid, but I am admitting it now. Because you, Desire, are the most kind and openhearted person I have ever met. A better person than I could ever deserve, but one that I don’t think I can live without.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes meet hers and he can see the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. His voice is sincere, no longer asking a simple question </span>
  <em>
    <span>about </span>
  </em>
  <span>where they are headed filled, but a question that </span>
  <em>
    <span>tells</span>
  </em>
  <span> them where they are headed. He can’t even hear the fireworks going off in town, too focused on his own world that is forming around her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s always been her. He’s been a fool to not see it sooner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Will you marry me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time when she tackles him, they both hit the ground. The faint pain that builds in his back from hitting against the ground is nothing compared to the absolute euphoria that starts to flood his veins as she laughs out a breathless </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She is still laughing as she lays on his chest, grinning wildly with pink tinted cheeks. Neronvain’s eyes are wide when she turns her fist toward him, opening it to reveal a humble ring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You dumbass.” Her voice is affectionate, her nose brushing against his, “You proposed before I could.”</span>
</p>
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